The Three Other Archetypes Not to Be On Social Media

For the first three, check here

Or don’t, no one reads this shit.

The Royalist:

Your profile picture is of Princess Diana (such a great role model.), you memorize every meaningless title of each member of that ugly family (I mean seriously, the hottest one is the ginger one?) but you ironically laugh at Game of Thrones and Star Wars fan who do the same because it’s not “real”. A baby is the Prince of Wales sure. And what the hell is a duke? And why aren’t other royal families getting the same love? King Felipe of Spain still has his hair at least. (Billy did NOT bald gracefully).

The Photographer:

Sunset has never been more boring or bland, stop convincing your friend of looking pensive on train tracks. Your camera hates you. You ruin my perfect stream of asses on Instagram with your sad attempts at framing.¬† They say any creation that’s meant to be beautiful is art, except your black and white picture of your grandma and your baby nephew. That is the opposite of art. You’re the opposite of an artist. stop tricking girls into dating you. You slimy creepy piece of shit.

The Comedian:

You make the easiest jokes for instance when Trump won you tweeted “Orange is the new black”. How original. Your puns are complicated but not in a smart way. You steal one-liners from Tumblr thinking we’re not going to find out. Your captions on Instagram are not unique. Making a joke about how ugly you look helps no one. Also, this guy is me and I need to stop. Don’t encourage me. This fucking blog is a part of it what am I doing?

 

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