The Three Archetypes Not to Be on Social Media

The Militant:

You think your political insight is groundbreaking. Your sad attempts at logic while you “debate” some child on Reddit are the highlight of your day. You think having an all-caps meltdown on Twitter is going to show them. You’re incredibly annoyed with people who disagree with you but you spend hours on their forums and their pages. Your bio on all social media is a list of adjectives ending with -ist. You complain about how you’re gonna end up arguing with your “ignorant” relatives during the holidays whilst being so oblivious to the fact that they dread seeing you as much as you do. Your mom lies and embellishes your life when asked because she’s not proud of you.

The Liar:

Do you seriously think that anyone believes your Instagram stories? Gourmet meals, expensive nightclubs, and great clearly professionally taken landscape shots WITH WATERMARKS YOU IDIOT!. Who are you fooling? Besides yourself of course. The drop in quality between your stories from your alleged night out and the selfie you post of yourself the next day is too apparent to be okay. The obviousness of it all is an insult to everyone’s intelligence. Just because no one calls you out on a lie doesn’t mean that you’re a good liar. People just prefer to not confront someone who clearly has a mental problem.

The Beggar:

You have Kickstarter and IndieGoGo bookmarked on your browser. Your posts are either you asking for something or complaining about something. You set up your Patreon before even knowing what you’re going to create. And when you decide to grow up and become a responsible normal adult you post a long cry for help on your LinkedIn talking about how long you’ve been unemployed and for some reason the health situation of every living relative you have falsely insinuating that you’re responsible for their healthcare. You want people to pity you and yes, they do. But not for the reasons you’re thinking.

 

 

 

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